One Mouthy Broad

Five million Metro Detroiters are going to be hungover tomorrow...

2009-09-27T23:55:17Z

...because holy shit the Detroit Lions finally won a freaking game.

This tells me that:

1. It only takes 42 million dollars for a rookie quarterback to end a 19 game losing streak.

2. The Lions will finally be forgiven for redesigning their logo to look like reject Thundercats concept art.

3. The apocalypse is nigh.

I feel bad for the Washington Redskins though. How much must you suck to lose to the Lions?

As usual, I'm late to the party...

2009-08-25T00:24:43Z

I have finally discovered the tv show Supernatural. After watching all four seasons in the last month and a half, I have come to the conclusion that it totally kicks ass.

Honestly, I'm kind of in shock about how much I love this series. Supernatural was one of those shows that I'd heard about, but pretty much dismissed as the Hardy Boys meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And although I enjoy the urban fantasy genre, there's only so much of the same regurgitated ideas with a "monster of the week" format that I can take. So while I'd watched occasionally in five to ten minute increments as I channel surfed (which included, unfortunately, the end of season 3), I never really gave it a fair shot.

And then a couple of months ago, someone posted this clip on weepingcock:

I decided that any show that mocked it's own fans like this deserved a chance.

The first episode was solid and neatly sets up the premise and establishes the relationship between the Winchester brothers and their father. The episodes immediately following were entertaining if not particularly outstanding, although there were a few stumbles along the way (like the episode about bugs or the racist monster truck - oy.). But it wasn't until the ninth episode, when Dean makes a desperate phone call to his father, that I realized that this show had a lot more potential than I thought.

I was hooked, because you see, I've made that kind of phone call to my own parents. True, I wasn't calling my parents because I thought there was a demon in our old house that had killed my mom. But I have made those kind of phone calls (even as an adult) to my parents, when I've been completely overwhelmed by something that's happened in my life and I'm desperate for some kind of parental guidance.

Which brings me to the first reason why this show rocks.

1. It's about family - siblings in particular.

I mean, yeah, they fight demons and ghosts and whatnot, which is all fun and good, but at the core of this story is the relationship of two brothers and their father which has all been twisted by the horrible death of their mother. It's about sons trying to get out of their father's shadow and discovering that the parents they once looked up to as infallible, are regular, flawed people. It's about the way older and younger siblings interact.

Sam, and especially the older sibling Dean, are so easy for me to relate to because on a lot of levels their relationship mirrors the one I have with my own little brother and my cousin (who came to live with my family, and is basically like a sister to me). Like Dean, I was the older sibling who looked up to my parents, and more or less followed the rules. My little brother and my cousin, like Sam, were the rebels of the family, constantly pushing my parents limits as they tried to do their own thing. A lot of the conversations and squabbles and arguments that they have are just larger than life versions of ones that I've had with my own brother and cousin. And it's not just me. I see shades of Sam and Dean in the way that my dad, my mom and my husband all interact with their siblings too. Hell, I can even see it in the way my own children interact with each other.

Who hasn't argued with their sibling about who gets control of the music in the car? While I didn't say anything nearly as clever Dean's: "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole," I vividly remember having that argument with my brother when I was seventeen and driving my first set of wheels.

One of my favorite moments in the series is a scene where the two brothers, who have been getting on each others nerves over completely petty shit, end up in a wrestling match on the bed over a money clip. I've totally done that with my brother and cousin.

As good as Buffy and Angel were, this element of family was pretty much completely ignored (until Dawn showed up magically and then... ugh.... let's not go there). Everything took backseat to the epic romances in the series. Maybe it's my age, but while I love a good epic romance, it's really damn refreshing to see a sibling relationship front and center.

2. It's about guys acting like guys.

It's really awesome to see a show that focuses on the relationships that men have with each other, because let's face it, guys interact differently with each other than they do with women (at least in my experience). The men on this show act like real men, instead of what often happens in fiction which is an idealized version of what women think manly men act like.

I don't mean that they act all macho, although there is definitely some of that going on. I'm talking about the way they relate to each other. While this show has a fair share of the main characters pouring their hearts out and/or yelling at each other, they do it in a way that men do. They hate talking about their feelings, sometimes talking around a subject completely, or just refusing to talk about it at all. A lot of times, it's what isn't said that's important. Sometimes it's just a look, and no dialogue at all. Sometimes they throw punches at each other.

They never once in the four years of the show (at least that I can remember) say "I love you, man," which makes sense because I don't think that men really say it very often to each other, but it's always clear that they do.

Which leads me to my next reason for why I love this show:

3. Earned emotional payoffs.

When it comes to the family relationships of this show (between the brothers Sam & Dean, their mother and father and their surrogate father/uncle Bobby) every single emotional payoff is 100% earned with painstaking plotting and character building. And while this show can be brutally heartbreaking, it never feels cheap or overly sentimental. They even manage to do a Christmas episode with an ending scene that is beautiful, heartbreaking in a totally guy way and it's what's not said but implied that just punches you right in the gut.

I wish I could say the same thing about the occasional romantic subplot that crops up, but all of those so far have fallen completely flat. However the writers seem to recognize this too, and tend to keep the romance to a minimum.

4. It has a great plot, which they take to logical conclusions.

The first season of this show was pretty heavy on the monster of the week format, with main plot episodes inserted on occasion. It takes awhile for the main plot to get focused, but somewhere during the end of the first season and beginning of a second, we really start to get a feel of the specific mythology of show. By the end of the four seasons, most of the episodes are plot oriented, and the occasional monster of the week episodes seem to be used as a break from the relentlessly dark story. I don't want to spoil the show for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, but I'll just say that I really love how they've put a fresh take on American folklore/urban legends and have taken Judeo-Christian mythology to it's logical conclusion. They really found their story telling groove in the third and fourth seasons, and I cannot wait to see how they resolve some of this crazy shit they've stirred up.

I really hate it when urban fantasy pussies out and crazy shit that happens doesn't really affect the world the characters live in (Jim Butcher- I'm looking at you). For example, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, there was constant wangst about how Buffy couldn't have a normal life. In the mean time, she's going to highschool, college, has multiple boyfriends (which admittedly didn't turn out so hot), gets to live with her mom and have a large extended group of friends and family. And even though all of this crazy shit is happening, she never gets into trouble with the cops. I mean, yeah, her life sucked, but really considering how she was stopping the apocalypse every season, it really wasn't that bad.

On Supernatural, the life of a hunter is extremely dangerous and it's pretty much impossible to live anything like a normal life. They live in dingy hotel rooms, have to scam credit card companies to have money and are in constant danger of getting busted by the FBI (who thinks the brothers are serial killers/grave robbers). Caring or loving another person is extremely dangerous, because the demons use that love as a weapon. The choices the characters make actually have weight to them, because we know the writers are going to make them face the consequences at some point.

5. It's really damn funny.

It really is. The humor isn't as constant as Buffy/Angel, although there's usually some great one liners and funny moments in even the most serious episodes. But occasionally they go all out with a comedy, and the results are usually hilarious. The episode Ghostfacers is an awesome spoof of those ghost reality shows (Ghosthunters and the like). A Very Supernatural Christmas is gory and disturbing and hilarious episode that features pagan gods and the Anti-Clause. At one point on the series, they even have an alcoholic, porn watching suicidal giant teddy bear (and yes, it's freaking hilarious). They even have a very clever episode that's their take on the movie Groundhog Day, which is simultaneously disturbing, cracktastic and funny.

6. It has a kick ass soundtrack.

Many songs have been used to great effect, and I really wish they'd release a soundtrack (or at least a list of music they've used). Standouts include the use of as Kansas' Carry On Wayward Son (during pivotal episode recaps), to the rock cover of What a Wonderful World (in the episode where Dean lives his fantasy life), to Rosemary Cloony singing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas in the Christmas special, to the brothers doofy sing along to Bon Jovi's Dead or Alive.

My major bitch about the show (and it's a BIG one) is the lack of interesting, strong and/or non cliched female characters. It really sucks that a show that can write such interesting men can fail so freaking hard at writing women. Out of four seasons, there have only been four standout female characters that have been interesting to watch, and sadly none of them stuck around for very long. The rest of them are boring at best (pretty much every woman who's been introduced as a romantic foil) and cringeworthy at worst (Ruby and Jo - who fail the hardest, I think, because the writers make the classic mistake of equating asskicking women and strong women). Most of them seem to exist solely for the purpose of being set dressing or plot devices. It's unfortunate because it would be awesome to see better female characters for the guys to play off of.

There's also the whole problem of this show, which is supposed to be an epic road trip across America, all looking the same. I mean, seriously, you never really get the feel of the cities or locations they're supposed to be in. They never go anywhere that looks like it could be south of the Mason Dixon line. And they avoid big cities like the plague (the only one I remember them in was Chicago - and dude, that totally wasn't Chicago). I'm more inclined to forgive this though, because I think this is probably a result of having to stick to a tight budget and film in Vancouver.

Still, even with these flaws, I find this show seriously entertaining. I think I'm about to commit some serious nerd blasphemy and declare that this show owes a huge debt to Buffy and Angel, that I enjoy it a lot more.

I think I'll stay away from the fandom, however. I took a peek and damn, some of the fans are definitely in batshit insane territory.

I drove an army truck!

2009-07-21T13:08:00Z

First of all, I just want to thank everyone for their kind words on my last post. You're all pretty fabulous people.

So anyway, my crazy brother-in-law has this hobby which involves buying old surplus duce and a half army trucks from the government and fixing them up. He's recently discovered that other people are interested in buying them as well, and so he's set up a business where he buys the trucks from the government, fixes them up a bit and resells them to interested buyers. Last Friday, he needed people to help him drive these trucks about a hundred and fifty miles to the place where he's storing them. And since I couldn't pass up the opportunity to drive an Army truck (because seriously, when do civilians ever get a chance to do this?) I volunteered to drive.

So this is generally what they look like. They're really goddamn big.

I have to admit that I almost chickened out. I've never driven anything that large before. But eventually I realized that I was just as qualified, if not more so than a lot of other people he's roped into driving. For one thing, my first three cars were stick shifts so it was pretty easy to get back into driving a manual transmission even though I hadn't done it for years. Second, my dad was a used car dealer and mechanic - so I actually have a ton of experience driving completely unsafe and fucked up vehicles back from salvage auctions. Compared to cars with no brakes, no headlights, doors that won't open because they're all crunched up from a wreck or cars that you can't slow down in because the engine will overheat, driving these trucks wasn't actually that bad.

My biggest concern was whether or not my bad ass five foot two self would be able to reach the peddles. This turned out to be a non issue, as these trucks are apparently designed for shorties like me.

I actually wonder how the hell our troops drive these things. My husband and brother-in-law both clear six feet. They told me they had to hunch over and crunch their legs up for the five hour drive back.

Then again, it's not like driving them is a comfortable experience anyway. They're so loud that you have to wear ear protection, they lurch and bounce you around, the shift pattern is backwards, sloppy and completely moronic, and they go so slow that you're in fifth gear at a whopping 25 mph. Their top speed is about 50 mph. When you compound all of that with the fact that you're driving something on the highway that could easily crush another car - it all adds up to one entertaining, but seriously stressful experience.

This one was my favorite out of the five that we drove back:

Tom in front of his smiley faced truck.

My dad, who we talked into coming with us.

Me, waiting for my truck to be fueled up. As you can see, I'm wearing a sweater. It's been so goddamn crazy cold here lately. I mean, I know we live decently far north, but damn, it's freaking JULY.

Someone had fun with the cammo paint:

This was on the back of one of the trucks. Kind of makes you wonder what they carried in there, no?

A shot from driving down Interstate 75.

The brother-in-law, the brother-in-law's random friend, and the father, all working on my army truck (which I like to call Eagle Killer) at a rest stop.

So the craziest thing that happened that day was that about halfway through the drive we saw this bald eagle come down and land near the side of the road to scrounge on a carcass. Apparently it got spooked because it started to take off, freaked out and flew into the side of my brother-in-law's army truck. My husband in the next truck managed to swerve around it as it lay dazed in the road, but I didn't have enough time to check and make sure there wasn't another car in the next lane, so I ran over it. ><

Yes folks, I am an eagle killer.

On the one hand, I was horrified. I've never run over an animal with my car before. I've never seen a bald eagle in the wild before either, and the first time I do, I hit it with an army truck. On the other hand, it was darkly funny. I mean, at least it died in style.

And actually, it's probably good that it happened to us. Bald eagles are surprisingly large animals. If it had hit the side of a small car going 70 miles an hour, it might have gone through a window or windshield and killed someone or totaled a car out instead of bouncing off the side of an army truck.

All of the eagle killing machienes lined up at a rest stop.

Most of my brother-in-law's army trucks. There are five more that were still up north at the time of this photo.

At any rate, it was an adventure to say the least. I'm not sure if I'll ever want to do it again, but it was worth doing once.

Anyone in the great lakes region want to buy an army truck? :P

prisoner__24601 @ 2009-06-05T06:43:00

2009-06-05T10:57:06Z

I have to put one of my dogs down today. She can't eat anything due to the enormous tumor in her stomach, and she's dwindled to the point where her quality of life is horrible. I think I'm taking this so hard because she's only eight years old. I thought we'd have at least a few more years with her. But she's the sweetest tempered, nicest, most well behaved dog I've ever had, so naturally she has to die young.

I have to say, this really blows.

Peanut Police and Precious Snowflakes

2009-05-06T18:13:32Z

Okay. I will freely admit that I can be a completely insensitive bitch, but I really, really think that the hypersensitivity over peanut allergies is completely overblown hysteria and it's really starting to piss me off.

For the confused child-free (and I'm guessing non-Americans as well) on my f-list, most schools in the states have enacted a "peanut-free" policy. We're not supposed to pack anything in their lunches that might have peanuts in them.

Yes, I realize that it can be really dangerous for some kids to eat foods with peanuts. Yes, I feel sorry for the kids who have to eat special food. Still, I think that most of this is a complete overreaction. Out of 365 million Americans, only 100-150 people die each year from all food allergies combined. The kids have a far greater chance of getting hit in the parking lot by a car or hell, getting struck by lightening, than dying from a peanut allergy.

Which brings me to the latest bullshit over my kid's spring music program where the parents have all been asked to bring in cookies as refreshments. The school sent out a reminder telling us to bring the cookies and reminding us that they're a peanut-free school. I still think it's overreactionary bullshit, but whatever. But then, one hysterical parent whose daughter is allergic to peanuts sends out a reply to all the parents in the school just in case we don't understand the gravitas of the situation. Some excerpts:

While shopping, I've found that several cookies have labels that say that either they contain nuts, MAY contain a trace of nuts, or processed with equipment that processes nuts.

Yes, that's right. Not only are we not allowed to bring anything with nuts, but we're also supposed to divine if such treats might have trace amounts of peanuts in them or have touched a mixer that once held a peanut.

Her attitude is not unusual. A lot of schools (although not ours... yet) require that treats brought into class be prepackaged with an ingredient label. Which means if you want to bake some brownies or cookies or cupcakes for your kid's birthday - hey you're shit out of luck. You want to be a lazy ass like me and go to a bakery and buy a batch of cookies or, hell, by a package of Oreos - well you'd better make sure that there's an ingredient list, quiz the baker/do internet research on the company about whether or not they make other products with peanuts in them.

Is there actually any evidence at all anywhere that equipment that have processed nuts and then processed food without nuts has gotten anyone sick? I've never seen any.

I even had the idea to make my own cookies and surprisingly found out that many of the separate ingredients may contain nuts. Ingredients you would never believe could possibly contain nuts, actually do.

Like what? Last I checked what you need to make chocolate chip cookies goes something like this: flour, eggs, milk, sugar, chocolate chips, butter, vanilla, baking soda and salt. Where exactly would the rogue peanut sneak in?

When you make your cookie selection for the fundraiser, please check all labels and make sure to bring the labels to the fundraiser. Whoever is in charge of setting up the cookie table should check all labels and place them next to their respective cookie and anything without a label should be placed in a separate area of the table and labeled as such.

Yes, that's right. Because her daughter (who is one out of 75+ kids at this school) has a mild peanut allergy, she wants everyone else to accommodate her to the point of placing all of the labels out for general inspection and putting the rogue cookies that the bad mommies brought into exile on the table of shame.

Or, you know, since she's going to be attending the event to watch her precious snowflake sing, she could bring cookies she deems acceptable and make sure her daughter eats only those. No way... that's just crazy talk!

She then goes on in boring detail about her daughter's mild nut allergy, that's now become the problem of every parent at that school, until she gets to her point which is:

"For those of you looking for suggestions, the ‘Good Life’ company makes cookies that are sensitive to nut and many other allergies common to children these days, and may be enjoyed by many families at the school. They can be purchased at Whole Foods and Plum Market."

Of course expensive and fancy cookies bought from Whole Foods (the only place in the yuppie universe that sells nutritious stuff) is the answer! How could I not see that before?

She then thanks us for our "understanding" and then attaches a picture below of her kid smiling with the caption "Sydney thanks you too!!!" for extra guilt.

When I got this e-mail I had to physically walk away from the computer to keep from typing a nasty response and sending it to everyone.

What truly irritates me is her assumption that because her daughter has a problem, we should all modify our behavior to accommodate her, instead of her stepping up and being a responsible parent and taking care of it herself.

Plus if it's really that big of a problem for your kid, why the hell would you count on other people to take care of it instead of making sure it's done right yourself?

Gah. I know I'm overreacting, but better to rant here than to shoot off a bitchy email.

Writer's Block: Community-Minded

2009-04-29T17:02:18Z

The first LiveJournal communities began in December of 2000, and now there's a community for any and every topic possible. What is your all-time favorite LJ community?

View 500 Answers

Definitely thriftwhore because I love thrift stores and seeing what other people have found.

Lansing Michigan Tea Party 2009

2009-04-16T02:02:46Z

Yes, I went to a Tea Party today. It was pretty kickass. However, I realize that since most of my f-list doesn't share my fiscal conservative leanings, so this might not be the post for you, although you are all certainly welcome to post and disagree with me.

I just want to state before I show the pictures that:

1. I blame the Republicans just as much the Democrats for the out of control spending that's going on in Washington right now. George Bush along with congressional Republicans started this bullshit with their bailouts and overblown spending budgets and their reckless Federal Reserve policies. The Democrats (like Barney Frank - who ignored all of the warning signs at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac) and Barack Obama seem hell bent on making the problem worse. I blame them all equally. I was so pissed at the first bailout done by GW that not only did I call all of my Representatives and bitch, I voted against my Democrat Senator and Republican representative in the 2008 election.

2. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a Democrat. I'm an independent who thinks that both MSNBC and FOX news are full of overblown talking head asshats, and gets her news primarily from NPR and the Wall Street Journal. Right now I'm pretty equally angry at MSNBC for marginalizing a legitimate protest as a handful of racist right winger loons, as I am at Fox news for trying to co-opt and cash in on these protest that have jack all to do with them.

3. I went to law school right across from the capitol building, and in the course of three years, I'd seen a lot of protests, but never one this large or active before. There had to be at least 5,000 people there (MSNBC claims 7000 - I think that's probably a bit high).

Anyway fun protest picture time. And what would a protest be without a giant pig? Actually, it makes for a great place to meet up with people in that big of a crowd, because seriously, you cannot miss the giant freaking pig. I kind of wonder where the giant pig gets stored. Like maybe just sits in someone's driveway, being all large and pink and obnoxious and driving the neighbors crazy.

Some questionable fashion choices. A part of me thinks it takes a lot of confidence to show up in public in a tricorn hat and coat. A part of me is sad that he didn't come entirely in costume with pants and a wig to match.

Definitely the scariest thing I saw all day - old people in mohawks, which apparently was a theme. I have no idea what the hell that was about, but the crowd was too loud to ask.

Some people angry with our Governor (there was a lot of that actually). Given how messed up Michigan has gotten during her eight years in office, I really don't blame them.

Another sign directed specifically at our Governor.

Some people angry with the Federal Reserve giving out cheap money and devaluing the dollar. There were a ton of people protesting this (including myself).

Bailout frustration.

People angry with the president and congress.

People angry about the debt that's going to be passed to the next generation.

Heh.

And my favorite sign of the day - one that I think sums up how I and a lot of other people felt:

A parenting conversation I never anticipated...

2009-03-02T22:43:16Z

I just had to explain to my five year old son the difference between Americans and Decepticons.

Sometimes being a parent is both hilarious and awesome.

Sparkly Vampires Ahoy!

2009-02-22T23:42:10Z

So I read Twilight - or rather I read 224 pages of it before getting bored and putting the book down. It was bad, but not in the way that I expected.

I admit that I had a lot of preconceived notions about this book. I thought for sure that while 33 year old Pris was going to hate it (especially since I hate vampires), inner 13 year old Pris was going to think it was full of sparklicious awesomesauce. But as I read, inner Pris13 kept telling me that this book sucked ass, while Pris33 thought that while it was definitely bad, it could have been salvaged if Stephanie Meyer had done a few things.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that Pris13 would have liked about this book. After all, Pris13 has read all kinds of goofy girlie shit that she thought was really, really awesome such as the Sweet Valley High Series, The Sunfire Historical Romance series, and the totally cracktastic Flowers in the Attic series by V.C. Andrews. In the next few years Pris13 will discover the worlds of Mercedes Lackey's white horses who save abused children and the Dragonlance books. And if the internet had been around back then, she probably would have flooded ff.net with goopy Sue filled romances about Raistlin who is so hot, misunderstood and clearly in need of the redemption that only true wuv can provide..

So a McHottie, sparkletastic, dangerous (but not really), stalkeresque, angsypants, vampire boyfriend? Awesome. Plot that's not really a plot, but two emo teenagers discussing their relationship for 500+ pages? Sweet! Dysfunctional, obsessive, patronizing and totally unrealistic true love? Sign her up!

But I think the thing that would have killed any enjoyment for Pris13 is the very simple fact that Bella Swan just sucks. She's not even a proper stand in for the reader or even a typical Mary Sue. She's shallow, vapid, mopey, bitchy and thinks that her life is OMG SO HARD U GIAS!

Inner Pris13 kept rolling her eyes every time Bella whined about how annoying it is that every dude in the school thinks she's hot, or OMG her parents (who are never around, have no expectations, and even give her a car to drive around) are annoying! On the first day of highschool people go out of their way to be nice to her and she's totally a bitch about it. When the girls in school try to be friendly to her, she is completely shallow and vicious, and Pris13 got the feeling that she was only putting up with them until she could get accepted into the cool vampire kids club. When she has to go to the hospital, damn near the whole school shows up to see if she's okay, and she acts like an ungrateful twat about it because it's so embarrassing.

Pris13 wouldn't have expected realism, she would have wanted an escapist fantasy to get away from the harsh realities of real middle and high school. But when the main character lives the perfect escapist awesome fantasy and acts like her life is really, really hard, well... that's pretty fucking irritating.

Interestingly, that's one of the reasons Pris33 kind of found Twilight nearly redeemable, because bad technical writing issues aside, Stephanie Meyer really captures the narcissistic, selfish, emo tunnel vision that dumbass teenagers tend to have, where every small thing is totally blown out of proportion. There's something awesomely entertaining about this beautiful, middle class, white chick thinking that people being nice to her makes her life hard. I kept waiting for her to get a harsh reality check. This book could have been interesting if Bella actually grew as a character, realized she was acting like a shallow twat, or realized that her relationship with Edward was dysfunctional and told him to take a hike. Conversely, it would have been just as entertaining if she never realized it, but if her moronic behavior had actual realistic consequences. Unfortunately that never happened.

And therein lies the biggest problem of the book for Pris33. It becomes painfully obvious that Stephanie Meyers doesn't realize that Bella sucks. She thinks her protagonist is cool, and thus, instead of other characters reacting the way they actually would to someone who is that much of a complete dumbass, she gets rewarded for her stupid behavior.

The other big disappointment was that this book wasn't nearly as cracktasticly entertaining as I hoped. Don't get me wrong, there are several laugh out loud wtf moments (my favorite being how even Edward's handwriting is HOLY SHIT BEAUTIFUL), things that made no sense (why are these vampires in high school again? Is it because they want to score some hot teenage tail?), and times when it becomes painfully clear that Stephanie Meyer has some serious issues when it comes to relationships (stalking is not sexy Stephanie). But sadly, in between the cracky parts are pages and pages and pages of really boring, shallow introspection by Bella and vapid conversations between her and Edward.

From the summaries I've read of the other books, it seems like with each installment of the series, it gets increasingly hilarious, but I just don't have the patience to read hundreds and hundreds of pages to get to it.

Finally, I have to say that while even though I think Pris13 would have hated this book, I get why other teenagers would love it. I'm not especially concerned that this book is teaching bad lessons to impressionable young girls (even though it kind of is). I read all kinds of fucked up stuff when I was that age, but even I realized that there was a big difference between what characters in a book could get away with and what happens in real life. I think that the people hyperventilating about how this is going to corrupt young girls, don't give those girls enough credit.

I don't, however, get why anyone over the age of 17 would think this this book is good entertainment - especially the twilight moms, who should seriously be old enough to see how fucking dysfunctional and non sexy this book really is. I'm pretty sure if some teenage boy was stalking their daughter the way that Edward stalks Bella, they'd pull out the shotgun to run his ass off and not think "Wow, isn't true love wonderful."

North American Auto Show

2009-01-24T01:43:33Z

Given the fact that it's highly probable that two of the three US automakers may be filing for bankruptcy in the next year, Tom and I figured that we should go to the North American Auto Show while it's still in Detroit.

I apologize in advance for the quality of these shots. I'm clearly not a photographer.

First up were the Mini Coopers. I have to admit that they're rather cute little cars. I don't know how pratical they'd be for a family, or for driving around Michigan in the winter, but they look like they'd be really fun to drive. If I were single and without dogs, I'd be tempted to buy one.

Their interiors are entertaining too, with the oversized odometer in the middle of the console. I'm not sure why it's so large, but it made me laugh.

The Volkswagen cars were pretty boring, but they did have this vintage VW Bug that was rather kick ass. I've always wanted to own one. The new ones aren't nearly as cool as the vintage version. If I ever get rich enough to have a car collection, I'm definitely going to have one of these in my garage.

Some concept car models done by a local design school. I'm not sure if I like them or not, but at least they don't have the horribly boring styling that most modern cars have.

I'm not sure why my son is smiling like this, but he's been doing it lately in every freaking picture and it drives me crazy. I am hoping that this is some kind of phase he'll grow out of.

An Alfa Romeo concept car. Again, I'm not sure if I like the styling on this one (I'd imaging driving it would be a rather claustrophobic experience), but at least it's different. I'm curious to see if this ever actually makes it into production.

I personally think Bentleys are overrated for the price. I don't get why people think they're so cool. I think the front of the car is rather ugly actually.

Ferrari and Porsche dropped out of the auto show this year which was really disappointing because not only are their cars cool (especially the Ferraris), but they always had entertaining displays with super hot chicks. Thankfully Lamborghini came this year.

I'm not sure what's up with the paint job on this one. It kind of looks like the primer coat before the real paint job was applied, or that they forgot to buff the paint job. My dad tells me that there are car paints that can absorb the laser beams from speed detectors and that might be why the color is weird. I don't know if that's total bullshit or not, but hey, it sounds cool.

And now the models, who were a rather hilarious bunch. Standing around an expensive car for hours, trying to look aloof, bored and yet hot must be one of the most bizarre jobs ever. And boring. Really, really boring.

It's hard to see from the front, but when viewed from the side you could see how freaky skinny these girls were. I wanted to run up there and give them sandwich or something.

He's not my type (I like my men to look more... uh... manly), but the women around me disagreed.

Not as cool as a Ferrari, but still one sweet ride.

A Maybach, which according to my father is the most expensive production car in the world. I googled the list price and they start at $350,000.

This Maybach has curtains on the windows. From what I could see, the interior was all kinds of posh, but I couldn't get a shot of it because the sales lady had a couple of people in there. They must have had connections or money or something, because otherwise you couldn't get within ten feet of that car.

A Fisker, which is apparently an electric sports car. I'm not sure if this is actually in production or not, but I do like the styling and the color. The marketing signs cracked me up because instead of saying "no leather seats" they called it "animal-free interior."

I don't know if Tesla is a prototype either, but again, another electric sports car.

This is what the charger socket looks like. It makes me wonder where you're supposed to plug your car in, what kind of set up it would take and how much it would cost to install.

A Lotus in saftey yellow. I don't know what it is about this color, but all of the guys who were looking at the car kept talking about how awesome it was. I think maybe it's because it's the same color that many power tools come in. Or maybe it's because it's the color that Tonka toy trucks come in which makes dudes all nostalgic. Not the color I'd choose for a fancy sports car, but Tom thought it was awesome.

The Scion display, which was the only visually interesting one of the entire show. It was a dismal year for displays, probably because most companies were cutting costs.

Some boring Toyota car that I'm only including here because of the freaking hideous color. For some reason, there were a lot of gross paint colors in this show. I don't know why someone would want a snot colored car, but apparently several car makers disagreed because this color was everywhere.

A prototype electric Toyota. Cute, but not sure how practical it really would be for most people.

An electric prototype for Chrysler. I think it looks like some weird glorified golf cart. I doubt this will ever make it even close to production seeing how Chrysler will probably go belly up once the government bailout money dries up.

As you can see, Chrysler didn't even try with their display. All their cars were on this dingy grey carpet. It was pretty fucking sad really, especially considering the last time we were here their Jeep display was impressive. They had a Jeep suspended upside down on the ceiling driving along a hilly road they'd mounted up there. What a difference a few years makes.

A Dodge Circuit. Another electric prototype that will probably never happen.

A Dodge Viper with a stupid paint job. Why they'd do this to such a nice car is beyond me.

A McLaren.

Some clowns standing in front of an SUV I want to take a picture of.

I admit that there's a part of me that lusts after this Mercedes. It seems like it would be the ultimate soccer mom ride, where I could just drive over and crush any puny compact cars that got in my way as I try to find a parking spot at the supermarket.

Another car that appeals to the suburban soccer mom inside of me and makes me feel like a dirty sellout, lol. I'm not proud to admit it, but I want to buy a Ford Flex now. The thought that we could have a car that could comfortably fit the four of us (including my six foot two husband who has to fold himself inside of our current cars) and our two dogs comfortably is really appealing.

A vintage Ford Mustang.

1953 Cadillac Le Mans prototype. It's sad that the styling on most cars are so boring now in comparison to the past.

This was really neat. The big three automakers set up a driving course in the basement of the convention center where you could drive their electric cars around a closed track. They had some normal cars and a couple of funky prototypes that they were letting people drive. I wanted to take a shot at driving one, but the kids were getting fussy and the line was too long.

The latest Corvette model. Unlike some older versions, I think this one is pretty cool looking.

A Smart car. I've actually seen these driving around town. I can't say that I'd want one for myself. They don't seem very practical for our winters, plus the fact that they're so tiny that I can't imagine they'd be all that safe in a crash. Still, they're cute.

Yet another electric prototype, this one from Chevy.

I can't remember what the hell this was, but I thought the seats and steering wheel were interesting, even if it doesn't look all that comfortable.

University of Michigan's solar racing car.

And a gratuitous baby picture.

Damn you, seed catalogs...

2009-01-13T17:25:26Z

Why are you so sexy? How can you make growing heirloom onions from seeds sound like a good idea, when I know damn well that it's a complete pain in the ass? How can you make it seem like I'll be missing out on something completely awesome if I don't grow my own bush beans this year, or try to grow at least four different kinds of salad greens? When did growing my own leeks become necessary?

If my spring crop of garlic and shallots grows even half of what I planted in the fall, I'm not going to have to worry about vampires for the rest of my life. Yet, here I am again, with the intention of doing a small garden this summer, but I just know that that's not going to happen. By the time I get done reading all of my seed catalogs and planning out my vegetable beds, I know I'm going to order too much stuff, just like I did last time. And now, instead of planning my garden to fit into the small amount of space that I have, I'm trying to figure out where I can build a couple of new raised beds in the spring so I can fit sugar snap peas and spinach in amongst all of the tomato plants.

It's probably a good thing that we just rent this house, otherwise I'd be trying to find spaces to cram in asparagus beds, rhubarb and more apple trees.

*cries*

2009 Reading Booklist

2008-12-31T15:11:41Z

A 2009 reading list so I can keep track of what I'd like to read next year as well as what actually gets read. I suspect that the trashy books about zombies will get read before anything actually thought provoking.

If anyone has any suggestions/book recs, I'd love to hear them. Or if there's something on the list that you think totally sucks and is a waste of time, I'd love to hear that too. I already know that Twilight sucks, but it's still on there because I'm deeply curious about why people seem to have kittens when they wank about this book.

I'd like to do something different this year and start reading more non fiction, but I'm pretty much open to reading any genre of fiction or any subject of non-fiction. Also, I'm looking for good sci-fi story recommendations (for myself) or awesome young adult recommendations since my nieces and nephews are all about the age where they've grown out of picture books and I like to spoil them. I'd prefer young adult books that are interesting enough for adults to read too, since I'm leery of handing over a book to a kid without knowing what's actually in there.

Strike through means I've actually managed to finish the book. Books in bold weren't on the list, but finished anyway.

The Alleluia Files - Sharon Shinn
Amphigorey - Edward Gorey
Amphigorey Also - Edward Gorey
Amphigorey Too - Edward Gorey
Assassination Vacation - Sarah Vowel
Auctioneer - Joan Samson

Black Sheep - Georgette Heyer
Blood Crazy - Simon Clark
The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

A Canticle for Leibowitz - Walter M. Miller Jr.
The Children of Men - P.D. James
~~City of Ember - Jeanne DuPrau~~
The Closing of the American Mind - Allan Bloom

Darkly Dreaming Dexter - Jeff Lindsay
Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies and Why - Laurence Gonzales
Devil in the White City - Erik Larson
A Dirty Job: A Novel - Christopher Moore

Ella Enchanted - Gail Carson Levine

~~Fair Play~~ ~~- Deirdre Martin~~
Fitcher's Brides - Gregory Frost
Frederica - Georgette Heyer

The Golden Compass - Philip Pullman
Guns, Germs and Steel - Jared Diamond

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson
Heart-Shaped Box - Joe Hill
Heck: Where the Bad Kids Go - Dale E. Basye
How to Lie With Statistics - Darrell Huff
~~How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy - Orson Scott Card~~
Howl's Moving Castle - Diana Wynne Jones

I Am Legend - Richard Matheson
Into the Forest - Jean Hegland

John Dies at the End - David Wong

King Rat - China Miéville
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly - Anthony Bourdain

Last Call - Tim Powers
Lilith's Brood - Octavia Butler

~~Mansfield Park - Jane Austen~~
Monster Island - David Wellington
The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress - Robert A. Heinlein

Night Watch - Sergei Lukyanenko

Outlander - Diana Gabaldon
The Other Boleyn Girl - Philippa Gregory

Persuasion - Jane Austen
Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions - Dan Ariely

Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence - Rosalind Wiseman

Salt: A World History - Mark Kurlansky
~~The Sharing Knife: Horizon - Lois McMaster Bujold~~
~~The Sharing Knife: Passage - Lois McMaster Bujold~~
The Silent Tower - Barbara Hambly
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers - Mary Roach

The Ten-Cent Plague: The Great Comic-Book Scare and How It Changed America - David Hajdu
~~These Old Shades~~ ~~- Georgette Heyer~~
The Thirty Eight Most Common Writing Mistakes - Jack Bickham
The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference - Malcolm Gladwell
Turn Coat - Jim Butcher

Ubik - Philip K. Dick
The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera
Under the Banner of Heaven - Jon Krakauer

The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides

Watership Down - Richard Adams
We Have Always Lived in the Castle - Shirley Jackson
The Well of Lost Plots - Jasper Fforde
West of January - Dave Duncan

X-Raying the Pharaohs - James Harris

Year of the Dog - Grace Lin

Zodiac - Neal Stephenson

Books I started, but couldn't bring myself to finish:

Angel Seeker - Sharon Shinn
Fablehaven - Brandon Mull
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

Fallout 3

2008-11-19T17:38:06Z

So I finished Fallout 3 today, and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised.

I have to admit that I was worried that I was not going to like this game. Fallout 1 and 2 are two of my favorite games of all freaking time, but I'd played Morrowind which I hated so much that I never got around to playing Oblivion, and I was afraid that Bethseda would screw up the Fallout franchise. Turns out that they fixed a lot of the issues that I had with Morrowind, and created out a pretty fun game.

What I loved:

The overall game atmosphere.

Fallout 3 manages to find it's own groove that's reminiscent of the old games, but still it's own creation. The game designers did a good job capturing the bleakness, brutality and crazyness of a post apocalyptic future coupled with the perky fifties vibe that was the signature of the first two games. While it's true that a lot of the humor of Fallout 1 and 2 is missing, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, just different. While I miss having some of the spectacularly hilarious dialogue options from the first two games (you know... the ones that you had to choose, but just knew that the whole town was going to end up attacking your ass for), I don't miss the tons and tons of pop culture references that were kind of annoying and jarring.

The atmosphere is so hardcore and bleak that I just couldn't bring myself to play a bad character. You see these people, who have just been totally shat on by life, which really made it difficult for me to do anything too bad. But even this bleakness can be a seriously cool thing. For me, some of the most sublime moments of this game came from just creeping around bombed out ruins at dawn with my Pip Boy radio playing music like "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" softly in the background.

The combat/character creation system.

Bethseda was smart and kept the fun parts of the combat and character creation system while also trimming a lot of the fat (useless perks, skills and turned based combat) from the first game. I also appreciate how easy the keyboard interface is to use. As a computer gamer, one of my pet peeves is playing a game that's clearly designed for a console controller and having the controls sloppily mapped onto the keyboard as an afterthought (Bioware - I'm looking at you.).

The DC ruins.

This is definitely one area that I thought was a vast improvement from the first game. It's so cool to walk around ruins that you can actually recognize. There would be times where I'd just stop and stare when I realized that holy shit, yes, I am actually looking at the Jefferson Memorial in the distance. Even better, you get to go into them. I also loved the use of the subway system as a means to get around downtown. While I'm sure that there was a lot of creative liberty taken with this area, I think that Bethseda deserves a ton of credit for designing a game with recognizable landmarks, while still allowing enough flexibility for them to be able to create their own areas and plotlines.

I hope this is a trend that continues in future fallout games. If I were queen of the universe, I'd demand that they set the next game in downtown Chicago or NYC because that would be seriously freaking cool. Sadly, Detroit would be kind of redundant, since much of the Motor City already looks like the ruins of a fallout game.

Game organization.

The balance between the hugeness of the world with the quest system and main plot was another thing Bethseda should be proud of. I really liked how the big side quests and main plotline were easy to keep track of. I could go off on my own for hours, but when I felt like following the main plot or doing a quest I didn't have any trouble finding the main plot again. This was a horrible problem in Morrowind (although I don't know if they fixed it for Oblivion or not).

Things that were not so great:

NPC companions.

I only played with two of them, and honestly, I thought they were kind of lame as well as being horribly overpowered. The ones that I met at least were bland and almost no personality especially in comparison to the NPCs you could have in the first two games (like Sulik or Marcus). They never seem to react to anything that goes on around you or even really interact in any meaningful way with the PC, and I never managed to get attached to them at all. They just seem like a waste of space.

Also, while I really hated not having NPC companions in Morrowind, for some reason being on your own in Fallout 3 just seems to fit the lonely atmosphere of this game better. I never managed to find dogmeat though, so I think if I play through again, I'll just pick up the dog and ignore everyone else.

Ridiculous bugs that should have been fixed during beta testing.

Oh man, there were some whoppers. For instance, in the first real town you come across many of the NPC's manage to either fall through a hole in the world and disappear or fall off the edges of the catwalks and die. This is definitely something that should have been caught during beta testing. It's kind of shameful that the game shipped without this getting a fix. Then again, Fallout 1 & 2 were awesomely buggy too (the magic car trunk, anyone?) so maybe they're just carrying on the tradition of being lazy and not fixing obvious stuff.

Small cities.

I really miss having the big giant sprawl of cities like the Hub, New Reno, etc... The settlements in this game are so freaking tiny, to the point where it makes no sense. Plus, it's a real pisser to struggle to find your way to a place to only discover four or five people living there. I mean, hell, I know the future is harsh, but as man is a social creature and division of labor is the most effective way to get things done, there'd have to be bigger settlements than what we see in this game.

The ending.

I won't spoil it, but I found it to be rather... anti-climatic. It lacks the punch in the gut from the first game (which had me screaming out loud "I hate you, fuckers!" the first time I played it), or the satisfaction that you get from the second game. It's not awful, just kind of meh, which is sad considering how much work was obviously put into this game.

Anyway, I thought this was definitely worth the 50 bucks, but then I'm biased because I love the Fallout franchise, so take this with the grain of salt. I definitely liked it better than Mass Effect, and I'll probably play through it at least partially again, and see if I can't be such a goody two shoes this time.

Gah, snow!

2008-11-10T16:05:12Z

I knew that the bad weather drifting across the plains states was going to hit us last night. Still, it was a surprising view out my front window this morning. Keep in mind that it was 70 degrees outside just a few days ago.

This was my neighbor's house across the street. As you can see, the leaves are still on the trees.

I had to scramble to find all the hats and gloves and snow gear this morning so I could bundle the kids up and take Erik to school.

Ugh. I'm so not ready for six months of cold, miserable weather.

Anyway, since I'm posting photos, I figured that I'd do a photodump of all of the various and sundry Halloween events that we went to.

Warning: Cute kid overload to follow.

Unlike last year when Erik wanted to be a car (and my husband and I had to build the costume from scratch), this year he wanted to be a skeleton - which was great because then I could be a lazy ass and just go buy him a costume at one of those Halloween stores that pop up during the season. Not that I didn't have fun making his car costume last year, but damn that was a ton of work.

The Halloween store had all kinds of fun stuff. If I'd had enough money I would have bought the zombie that pops in and out of the toxic waste can.

Ivy was a pea pod because I found a this cute costume at a garage sale for $2. I suspect that's how her costume choices are going to be made for the next few years until she gets old enough to voice an opinion.

Perhaps the scurviest bunny ever.

This is the parade that Erik's Montessori does every year through downtown Birmingham (the suburb where his school is located). It's a pretty entertaining event because the kids end up stopping traffic as they march through the town. The government and business people expect to see this every year, so we had a bunch of spectators.

Good lord some of the kids in that school are mind numbingly cute.

Some of the spectators at City Hall even dressed up. These were my favorite. Although the hall full of Elvises were a close second.

I think this was probably my favorite kid costume that I saw. Spiders kick ass.

As you can see, this many young kids in a parade is kind of like controlled mayhem. It took forever to get most of the kids up there to take the group photos.

We were really slackers about carving pumpkins this year and didn't get around to it until the night before Halloween. The two small ones that Tom carved turned out the best I think. Next year, I'm going to make him carve all of them.

This one was my favorite. It looks so pissed off. I find it particularly hilarious because I've seen this look on my kids at least a hundred times.

prisoner__24601 @ 2008-10-06T12:07:00

2008-10-06T16:15:47Z

Our television died last night. I'm guessing that it got tired of showing political coverage and committed seppuku. I can't say that I blame it.

Normally my husband and I would be happy since this would give us an excuse to buy a flat screen. But since it's quite likely that Tom's going to get laid off next month (again...gah), dropping a bunch of money on a brand new toy would probably be unwise. So we've decided to wait a few weeks and see if we like living without television.

This should be an entertaining experiment, since I haven't lived without a television since college.

Because I can't stand politics anymore...

2008-10-02T16:43:09Z

... I've decided to totally ignore it for awhile and post some pictures of the Michigan Renaissance Festival that my family and I went to this weekend.

Now, I have to admit that as nerdy as I can be, I somehow have bypassed the whole Renaissance Festival thing. I'm not sure how this happened because I used to do a lot of community theatre, which let's face it, is probably what half of these people do in their spare time. I've only been to three of these in my life, and I have to admit that I'm totally fascinated by them. I kind of wonder if all of these people know each other, and if there are cliques of people or some kind of social structure to these things. If any of you know, please tell me because I'm really rather curious about how the whole Ren Faire world works.

Anyway, pictures.

For some reason at this Ren Faire foxtails were all the rage. I dunno what the hell was up with that, but they were everywhere. Can someone enlighten about what that's about?

And another:

Even small children got wrapped up in the tail fetish.

What I always find hilarious about Ren Faires is how liberal "Renaissance" gets interpreted. For instance, pickle carts were apparently very big in the Renaissance (there were no less than five at this festival).

So was quasi-goth clothing (I don't think this lady's ever heard of the concept "age appropriate attire"):

Fairy wings:

Armor for ~~WoW Nerds~~ hot chicks. My husband and I just about peed our pants when this dude touched the mannequin's boob. What happens at the Ren Faire, stays at the Ren Faire, unless assholes like us take your picture and post it on a blog.:

Giant anime sized swords (held at suggestive angles):

Pirates (wearing more age inappropriate attire):

Groups of emo teenagers wearing tin foil:

And cell phones:

There was the requisite greasy turkey leg that had to be bought (for six bucks!). Sadly, the idea of the turkey leg was much tastier than the reality of it. On the other hand, it was fun to watch my Republican preppie friend Don eat one. That was totally worth six bucks.

Since we didn't have our dogs there to feed it to, we did the next logical thing and fed it to my son.

There were also a bunch of cool rides. Unfortunately those were also ridiculously overpriced as well.

The jousting was really dissapointing. Last year we went to a different festival and they had full contact jousting with a rail and everything where the jousters actually got up to almost full speed and hit each other with their lances. These guys were totally lame and barely touched each other before falling off their horse. At least they looked cool.

We did see some really cool costumes (heh, none of which probably qualify as Renaissance too).

My favorites were these viking guys. I'm trying convince my husband that he needs to dress up as a Viking next year. I don't think this will be a hard sell.

I dunno wtf this guy was supposed to be, but I thought the bones on his hat were entertaining.

Finally some older ladies with some style. I thought the headdress and the necklace were very cool:

This was cool too. I have to give her credit, I would have had a hell of a time navigating a big crowd in skirts that large, but she was working it.

And the require spawn pictures. Ivy taking all the madness in:

Erik cheesing it up for the cameras:

Oh, Democrats... Part 2

2008-09-12T12:51:39Z

You're still killing me. There seems to be three more simple ideas that you fail to grasp:

1. Sarah Palin isn't the one running for President, so stop wasting time and resources on her. Every time you go through the minutia about what may or may not have happened with "troopergate," "bridge to nowhere," or whatever, I start banging my head against my desk. She's like Teflon. Even if everything you're ranting about is actually true, none of it's going to stick. You already lost your credibility when it comes to her with the stupid ass attacks on her family so even if you have anything legitimate to say (which you probably do), people have tuned you out. The more Democrats and the media attack her, the more people like her.

Besides why focus on her when you have John McCain who was one of the Keating Five to rake over the coals? The dude should have gone to prison over that and probably would have if he wasn't a war hero. And now he's running as fighting corruption and bringing reform to Washington and none of you bring this up? WTF? Stop with the stupid cracks about lipstick, the bullshit about her qualifications and all the other stuff and focus on the guy that's actually on the top of the ticket.

2. The attitude of "OMG rednecks, why don't you know that we're best for you, you stupid assholes? Vote for us now, plz!" is going to alienate more people than it will win over. This kind of condescension and class warfare is why you lost the last election.

3. Hollywood stars ranting and raving on your behalf only reinforces the idea that Hollywood/blue states/liberal media/Washington are out of touch. Explain to them that they are not helping and put a freaking muzzle on them.

Stop dicking around. You're missing the forest for the trees and it's painful to watch.

Oh, Democrats...

2008-09-05T14:10:18Z

You're killing me here. Once again, you're about to screw the pooch, because you simply do not understand why McCain chose Sarah Palin for his VP, why she is dangerous to your party and how on earth to handle her.

Michigan should not be in play in this election. We've voted for Democrats in the last five presidential elections. We have a Democrat Governor, a Democrat controlled state house and senate. Both of our senators are democrats. We're bigtime union country and our economy is actually worse than the rest of the nation. And yet, we are in play – which tells me one thing:

Obama is in big fucking trouble, and needs to do something about it RIGHT NOW.

You need to understand that despite all the talk about her appealing to all the disgruntled Clinton women PUMA voters, that's not even the primary reason he chose her. And that all of the hollering and screaming about “OMG JOHN MCCAIN IS ASSUMING WE'LL VOTE WITH HER BECAUSE SHE HAS A VAGINA. WHAT A FUCKTARD!” is completely missing the point.

This is what John McCain wanted to do with this pick:

Steal Obama's thunder right after his speech at the end of the DNC and to keep the press on the Republicans until after the RNC. Let's face it, if the VP choice had been less shocking it would have been a footnote, and Obama's DNC speech that would have gotten days of airtime coverage. As it is – the Democrats are so desperate for media attention that Obama went on Bill O'Riley's show last night, because they knew it would make headlines.

Galvanize his base of conservatives who have been totally lukewarm towards him but now are just as excited about her as Democrats are about Obama.

Rub salt in the wound and keep the wedge between the disgruntled Hillary voters and the Obama supporters. I really don't think McCain figures he's going gain many votes from the women who vote mostly on Roe v. Wade. But what he wants to do is keep them pissed off enough at the Obama camp so that they stay home or vote for a third party candidate. And every sexist statement by the media or your supporters helps make this happen.

Add someone onto the ticket who's not a Washington insider. This is another huge bonus, because people love voting for governors. In fact, there's only been two siting congressmen that have ever won a presidential ticket. And as much as people hate Bush, they hate congress even more (they have what, a 19% approval rating? Even Bush has more supporters than that). The fact that she's from Alaska makes it even better, because people romanticize the state,like it's the last frontier or something.

Woo the independents and Reagan Democrats. This is where he's planning on picking up votes – from the NASCAR, blue collar, gun toting, pickup driving, union, church going, deer hunting crowd. And dude... she's tailor made to appeal to them. They love her, and they think of her as one of their own which is why when Democrats attack her family choices they're shooting themselves in the foot. If she plays well here, I suspect she'll also be popular in Ohio, Penn and other states that are heavy with Reagan Democrats.

So what should you do?

Back the fuck off when it comes to asking about whether or not she can handle being a mom and on the pregnancy of her daughter, because if this campaign becomes about Sarah Palin's family – you're going to lose.

Stick to the issues, especially the economy and gas prices, and pound the shit out of the Republicans there. Talk about how how jobs are moving out of the country – and what the hell you're going to do about it.

Stop trying to compare Palin's experience to Obama's experience. Let's face it, their experience is equally thin. And since your inexperienced candidate is on the top of the ticket, you're the ones with the most to lose. Besides, this argument is a loser argument. It didn't work for Hillary. It didn't work for McCain, and it's not going to work against Palin. It's a waste of time, and turns one of your biggest strengths (that Obama hasn't spent tons of time in Washington) into a weakness.

Don't make anymore statements about guns and religion. Do not let them make you out to be one of the out of touch, intellectual elite, Washington insiders.

And for Michigan specifically – take advantage of the fact that Kwami Kilpatrick has finally been booted out of office. Point out that it was the Democrats that were the driving force getting him out and fighting corruption from within their own party.

Seriously. Don't underestimate this choice, by minimizing it or thinking it's stupid. It's goddamned brilliant. It's your election to lose, and in the last week or so, you've done a spectacular job at fucking up an almost sure thing.

Hauling a baby 1200+ miles wasn't the brightest idea I'd ever had...

2008-08-22T13:32:20Z

...but now after being home for a couple of days, I finally have enough energy to whine about it.

So my mom has all these convoluted health problems, and she's been going to the Mayo Clinic for about three years now since no one else seems able to untangle what's specifically wrong with her at any given time.

A few weeks ago my mom was having chest pains so bad that she couldn't eat or take her medicine and made the mistake of going to the local hospital to have them check it out. They ended up trying to do an angiogram, but managed to mess up her arm so bad that her arm was turning black and purple from the internal bleeding. The local hospital panicked (I think they thought they were going to get sued) and loaded her on a medical jet and sent her up to Mayo Clinic. I ended up panicking too, sending my son off to hang with his cousins and hopping in the car with my father and baby and driving from Michigan to Minnasota.

In the end, it turned out about as well as it possibly could have. She's fine and not having any pain anymore since the clinic finally figured out what was causing it. It took them two weeks and two stints in her arteries to figure out that the pain was being caused by the fact that she takes her meds too close to bedtime and her pills were getting caught in her esophageal lining causing inflammation and horrible chest pain any time she tried to eat or take a pill.

After two weeks on a road trip with my father, I've come to the conclusion that my mother is a saint for being able to put up with my pain in the ass father for almost 40 years.

It's weird, but when I was growing up, my mom was the uptight one and my father the laid back one. They've done some kind of weird role reversal in the last decade or so where she's mellowed out and he's gotten more obnoxious.

Don't get me wrong, my dad is a great guy, but holy hell he can be an inflexible pain in the ass. I think it must be a sign of his age (he's 65 now) but he's getting so set in his ways to the point where if things are not exactly the way he expects them to be or wants them to go, he gets all angry and freaks out. Granted this trip was stressful as hell. Added to the fact that we didn't know what was wrong with my mom, a lot of crazy things happened.

For instance, we ended up having a hell of a time finding hotel rooms because we just happened to be in town at the same time as a Jehovah's Witnesses convention (lasting 5 weeks! Don't those people have to work or something?), a motorcross rally, and an international antique festival. We had to scramble to get a room, which we eventually had to give up after a week and a half because everything was already pre-booked. Incidentally, this ended up with a lot of Mayo patients being totally screwed without having a place to stay. We ended up having to drive 70 miles to Minneapolis to find a place to stay that night.

So my Dad was understandably upset. But when shit like this happens bitching and moaning to the doctors, the nurses, the hotel janitor, the waiter at the restaurant, and my mother - doesn't freaking help. Really none of those people can do anything for us. And the obnoxious thing? He doesn't gripe to anyone who could actually make a difference and help us. He also refused to focus on a solution, just preferring to freak out instead.

And it wasn't just big things like this - but a ton of small stuff. Like if he didn't get the right cereal in the morning, or the wall street journal at a specific time, or if for some reason his wireless internet connection cut out while he was checking his stock quotes IT WAS ALL A GIANT CONSPIRACY KEEPING HIM FROM GETTING WHAT HE NEEDED RIGHT NOW.

And holy crap, don't ever let him drive in anything resembling major city traffic, because you'll get a tirade about the city, city drivers, and tollbooths that you'll never forget.

But weirdly, if we needed to change plans or do anything to accommodate my kid (which there was a decent amount of), he was totally okay about it. In fact, he'd go out of his way to make sure she was happy. Like I said, my dad can be a great guy.

I think some of this was stress and fatigue. I think some of it is him getting old. And since our temperments are in a lot of ways similar - I really wonder if this is going to be me in another 30 years.

Anyway, it's good to be home.

This probably makes me a bad parent but...

2008-08-04T15:30:35Z

I think this picture of my daughter sums up my feelings on the current presidential candidates and the press that insists on covering them 24/7.

American Excess and Fourth of July Shennanegans

2008-07-09T15:22:03Z

So we were at my parents house this weekend for the fourth of July holiday. They have one of those satellite dishes with the eight million channels including scads of pay per view pr0n and sports networks. We were flipping through to see what was on and ran across this hilarity. I was so entertained that I had to take a picture so I could share it with you all.

Yes. That's right. There is a pay per view porn channel called "Teez" which shows a porno called "Big Honkin' Cans."

Proof that USA is a hilarious and awesome place.

Over all it was a pretty good weekend. In a fitting tribute to American excess, my son drove his horrendously expensive toy car that my parents bought him for Christmas around their yard. I'm kind of amazed (and horrified) that my parents bought him this. I mean he's four. Four. And this is such a ridiculously excessive gift for someone who is four. I will say that he had a good time and they got a kick out of watching him drive it. And I know that a lot of this is compensation for the fact that we were dirt poor when we grew up, and now that they have some money they want to spoil their grandchildren which is why I broke down and allowed this.

I also have to admit that I'm slightly bitter about this. This toy car cost about four times the amount that my parents spent on my first car a 1972 Orange Toyota Corolla that they paid a whopping $150 bucks for. Keep in mind, I was driving it in 1993 (it had 200,000 miles on it). I shouldn't gripe though. Even though she only had four gears and a top speed of about 45 MPH, Vitamin C was a pretty kickass car. And hey, we didn't even have a real furnace in our house, so really I was lucky to even have a car at all.

I'm afraid to discover what ridiculously expensive gift they'll buy for my daughter when she gets older.

*facepalm*

Mass Effect

2008-06-17T14:21:46Z

It took me awhile because I had to play in smallish chunks of time, but I finally managed to finish Mass Effect.

Mass Effect spoilers below.

This Shepard is a Vanguard/Earthborn/Sole Survivor who ended up being about 55% Paragon/45% Renegade after she sacrificed the Council, talked Saren into blowing himself away and installing her former boss as head of the new galactic council. I ended up choosing the darkest skintone because I didn't want to get the melty face effect that plutospawn talked about. Plus I just find the darker skintones in this game to be a lot prettier than the pasty light ones. I think a lot of that probably comes from me not really getting the knack of customizing the faces. Still, I was pretty happy with the way she turned out - except for the hair which ended up driving me batshit crazy by the end (more on that later).

I thought this game, while having some irritating design issues, kicked a lot of ass.

The awesome:

1. Paragon/Renagade system.

I thought this was a great way to make a distinction between two types of play. It's a lot more complicated than just good/evil, lightside/darkside. Sure a lot of the renegade options are the "asshole" options, but there are several occasions where arguably the morally right thing to do is to choose the renegade choice, which usually offered a sure thing, instead of taking a huge risk and choosing the paragon choice. Letting the Council die in order to focus on killing the big bad is a good example of this.

Personally, I would have liked to see this carried a bit further to the point of some of the paragon or renegade choices ending up biting Shepard in the ass such as letting the council live, only to almost lose the game because you didn't have enough firepower to take out the giant alien. There were no real consequences for choosing a paragon or renegade choice and that sometimes cheapened the choices made. Still, most of the time their system worked - and hey - at least they got out of the black and white world view that's in most of these types of games.

2. Jennifer Hale's voice acting.

Her fem!Shep voice just rocked. She was so good, in fact, that I'm having a hard time playing a male!Shep game because the voice actor just sounds horribly wooden in comparison. She also gives Shepard so much personality that I think I'm going to have a hard time reading most fanfic. I can already feel myself cringing at the idea of reading a super sweet, super good, super caring Shepard who talks ad nauseum to Kaiden/Garrus about their relationship. I can already hear the cry of "Shepard is who you make her to be, so shut up, Pris" but I can't agree. Unlike Revan in Kotor, I think the voice acting here and dialogue choices really give Shepard a distinct (hard ass) personality and while I think there'd definitely be some room for interpretation, I don't think there'd be tons - which means I'd probably better stay far, far away from mass effect fandom.

3. Kaiden

I wish they would have chosen someone other than Sbarge to voice Kaiden in a way because it was it was really distracting in the beginning. Still, even though he shares a lot of Carth traits, he's different enough to be interesting in his own right. This is probably a sign of my age, but it's nice to see a romance lead where you don't have to fix their emotional issues because he's grown up enough to do it himself. Out of all the bioware romance options in their games, Kaiden is the only one I'd even emotionally healthy enough to consider hanging with in real life. Plus I found the dialogue options between hard ass fem!Shep and Kaiden to be really entertaining. I have to say that I like him as much as Carth.

4. Hanging up on the council.

This never got old. Never. It's goofy of me, I know, but I thought that hanging up on the Council was one of the best parts of the game.

5. The plot.

I thought the main plot itself, while certainly not original, was well thought out. They took the idea of one person being responsible for the safety of the entire universe almost to it's logical extreme by writing in difficult grey choices for the player to make. I also liked that while the player was another version of "the chosen one" I got more of the sense that it was Shepard's choice, and not fate, circumstances, higher powers or the force thrusting this unwilling person into a position of power (like all of the other bioware games). Shepard seems to be the proactive sort that would choose to do this job, instead of just being anointed against her will. Overall, it was definitely entertaining enough for me to be excited to see the sequels.

The not so awesome:

1. Ashley.

Honestly, I couldn't stand this character. I think she was supposed to come across as a strong female, but really, she's a xenophobic prude who just irritated the crap out of me (I think I my annoyance with her crystallized the minute we walked into the strip club), especially when compared to the awesome job they did with fem!Shep's personality. This ended up being a problem when it came to the part where you have to decide between saving her and Kaiden, because honestly that wasn't even remotely difficult. It didn't have the emotional resonance that I think it was supposed to have (I felt a lot worse in Kotor when Bastila stays behind to fight Malak - even back when I didn't like Bastila). I'm wondering if she improves if you play a guy. Bioware seems to spend so much time on the romances that it seems like they fall short sometimes on creating same sex friendships between the pc and the romance leads.

2. Mako

I suck at driving vehicles in games. Seriously. I find it extremely frustrating to drive even in a straight line, so I was pretty dismayed to discover how often you needed to drive the damn thing.

3. Repetitive, boring side quests.

First of all, they really need to have more than one layout for a base, mines, abandoned ship, etc because holy crap it's irritating. Second, they should have cut the number of these quests by two thirds and focused on making the ones that they kept interesting and distinct. As it was, I ended up skipping a bunch of them because I got so bored. Third, they should have put more thought into the Garrus and Wrex sidequests which when compared to the ones in Kotor, fall horribly short.

4. Male Shepard faces.

Holy crap is it difficult to make an attractive or cool looking male!Shep face. I know I'm not the greatest at that kind of artistic stuff, but still. It seemed like the fem!Shep got the better end of that deal.

5. Shepard's hair.

What the hell was with the hair choices for both genders? Seriously? I thought they all sucked. On the males, I gave up and made my Shep bald. On the fem!Shep I went for the bob, but still, that irritated the crap out of me after about an hour. They need to come up with better choices. They also need to make it so that you can change the pc's hair mid game if you get sick of it.

As a side note, one thing I really don't get is the Garrus fangirling. Hey, I like the guy. I thought he was cool. I really don't get the fangirling that seems to be happening over him though (especially wanting him to be a romance option). I'm guessing it's because he has a cool voice?

Next up... Ivan Shepard, Infiltrator/Colonist/Ruthless:

I have a feeling he's going to be a raging asshole.

Anyway, post pictures of your Shepards (male and female). I've seen some of them but I'm curious to see what other people came up with, and I can't remember where you all posted your Sheps and am too lazy to go looking.

Spawn version 2.0 photos.

2008-05-10T00:27:05Z

So I figure that since my new spawn has been around for almost two weeks now, I should get off my ass and post some pictures.

1. Anyone who claims that giving birth is the most beautiful and wonderful thing they have ever experienced is a) on crack, b) living in an alternate universe populated by unicorns or c)your mom who is desperate for more grandchildren and thus willing to lie to you. In reality it's undignified, exhausting and if the epidural wears off too early, really freaking painful.

2. Braxton-Hicks contractions are sent by Satan to torture pregnant women. There is something so horribly mean about having painful contractions for four or five hours only to have them stop leaving you exhausted and knowing that you're going to have to start over again.

3. After seven failed attempts at them trying to put me on an IV, I've come to accept the fact that I'll never be able to do any drugs that require easy access to my veins for shooting up. It's almost two weeks later and my arms are still covered in bruises from where they jabbed me over and over. On the plus side, the contractions I was having were so painful that getting stabbed in the arms repeatedly by panicked and guilty looking nurses at least gave me a different kind of pain to focus on for awhile.

4. It is really freaking awesome to have 90% of my body back to myself. My bladder is especially happy about this.

5. When you are a four and a half year old boy, the word "underwear" is the FUNNIEST THING EVER. It is so funny, in fact, that you must chant the word over and over and over again to your mother who has been up all night nursing your sister until she understands why lions sometimes eat their young.

6. I think it's going to take another four years before I consider doing this again.

7. I'm now addicted to the show "The Deadliest Catch." II think when I grow up, I want to go fish crab on the Bering Sea. It's got to be better than working in a cubicle anyway. (I think it might be a sign that I've been watching too much tv.)

And now, some pictures. At least she's cute.

Meet Ivy. Despite the horrible pregnancy and the general awfulness of the birth process, we're pretty happy that she's here. If only we could figure out who the hell in our family she looks like, because at the moment, we're kind of stumped.

Ivy owns a ton of pink clothes. More than I thought was humanly possible. Much of this is due to my aunt who sent an enormous package with like 20 brand new pink outfits.

One of the few exceptions to the pinkness that has suddenly invaded our lives is this awesome onesie sent by kosiah. It's such relief to have at least one outfit that's not pink. I think she looks pretty kickass here.

When Ivy gets older, she'd better not be pulling this maneuver for local law enforcement, especially after all the effort it took to give birth to her. (Yes I plan on using that guilt to manipulate my children for the rest of their lives.)

This is what she looks like at three in the afternoon...

... and this is what she looks like at three in the morning.

Something tells me that she's already got life all figured out.

Proof that getting pregnant is the equivilant of smoking crack for some women...

2008-04-22T15:01:32Z

I'd always heard horror stories about people naming their children idiotic things, and I'd just recently reread Baby's Named a Bad Bad Thing thanks to midnight_hawk but I'd never quite witnessed this idiocy myself. However today I was tooling around over on a local mom message board when I ran across this post. I swear, I didn't make this shit up. I suspect you all will find this as sadly hilarious as I did.

***

Uh..Hem... My Turn! BABY NAME Ideas & Thoughts!

Ok, we are coming down to the wire!

Since we do not know what we are having, it is taking us *quite* a while to come up with names.

PLUS, it doesn't help that we have already used our favorite boys names.

As corny as it sounds, we would like to keep the "Disney Princess" names going if it is a girl. Fortunately, we LOVE the princess names anyways, even if they weren't princess names.

Here are out favorite girls (FIRST) names:

Pocohontas
Ariel

Favorite MIDDLE names:

Molly
Annie
Summer
Autumn
Tatiana
Daffodil
Faith/Joy/Hope
Priscilla

Boys FIRST & MIDDLE names:

Basil
Leif (don't worry, no "Basil Leif"!)
Finn
Psalm
Debussy
Delune

We could use some more suggestions for boys names. We like "different" names (duh Laughing )

What do you guys like?

BTW, every time I mention "Pocohontas" to ANYONE (except DH), I always get a chuckle! ..."But Claire! She is going to have to live with that name for the rest of her life!...." Don't do that to her! She doesn't deserve it!".... "Think about HER!"

Argh! We really like it and it IS unique. Plus, I am native american and my dad insisted on me having a native american name (my middle name is Cheyenne), so it would also be like passing down our heritage in the form of a name, you know?

What do you guys think?

***

I am so tempted to register on that board and let her know exactly what I think. Or maybe encourage her to name her kid this idiot name. I can't decide.

That poor kid. Pocohontas? WTF?

First of all, she doesn't even freaking spell it right. It's Pocahontas. If she can't spell it right, imagine a six year old trying to spell her own damn name.

Second, why, why, why would you do that to a child? I mean, I get wanting to name your kid in honor of your cultural heritage, but let's face it, her desire for a Disney princess name outweighs any kind of desire for a Native American name. After ten seconds of looking in the Native American section of our baby naming book, I found at least twenty far cooler, interesting and less prone to ridicule names than freaking Pocahontas. Plus if you are truly of Native American descent, wouldn't you want a name that reflects your actual particular tribal history than something that's been co-opted, bastardized and mangled by the Disney Corporation?

Further proof that it being a Disney princess is the most important thing for this woman. When someone suggests princess names (like Anastasia) that aren't used in Disney Movies this is the response:

My mom was trying to convince me to go with Anastasia yesterday. Not only did she want to name my sister that, but it IS a Russian princess.

However, it isn't a *Disney* princess. I think Warner Brothers or something did that movie. (Wouldn't dare go with an "off brand" princess name Shocked Laughing )

Pocohontas Priscilla? Pocohontas Daffodil? Psalm Debussy? (I wonder if anyone has told her that Ariel is from the Tempest and was written as a male... probably not.)

Sadly, all this woman has gotten so far is polite encouragement or people being far too nice and sidestepping the issue and trying to present less idiotic options.

*facepalm*

prisoner__24601 @ 2008-04-05T07:36:00

2008-04-05T13:31:43Z

I have to say that it's about freaking time Battlestar Galactica started up again, because television was looking mighty bleak for awhile there. Although I have to admit that's because I have a low tolerance and have given up on so many shows that I used to enjoy (Smallville, Heroes, Lost). The only other show I watch anymore on a semi-regular basis is Reaper, which if you're not watching, you're totally missing out because it's pretty hilarious.

Anyway, back to Battlestar Galactica and some things I really want to see this season, because as you all know, it's all about me.

1. I want to see the four that have just discovered their cylonness do something that's almost never done with a big secret on a tv show and freaking tell Adama and Roslin that they're cylons ASAP. Because you know it's going to come out, and you know that there's going to be all people feeling betrayed and there's going to be the typical boring angst of "omg should we tell them? Should we not tell them? Angst, angst, angst." So why not do something that's almost never done in fiction and actually have the people with the big secret do the rational and responsible thing and be up front and honest about it from the start? I mean, come on... it's not like them discovering this will be angst free even if they're up front - so why manufacture extra angst that's typical and boring?

2. I want to find out if the chief's kid is actually his kid (which would make a second half Cylon baby) or if his wife was screwing around on him behind his back and it's not his kid at all. For some reason, I kind of want it to be the latter, because even though I like both characters, I want to see more of the two of them. She seems so hardcore against the Cylons, so finding out her husband is a Cylon should be pretty awesomely messed up.

3. I want to see more of secondary characters that got neglected the second half of last season due to the Kara/Lee wanky romance that ate up way too freaking much airtime. This includes Gaeta, Dr. Cottle and Tom Zerek (who is so criminally underused that it's shameful).

4. I want everyone involved in Kara/Lee wanky romance bullshit to move on. I like both of those characters but I think they suck horribly when they try to get together. Plus everyone involved has more important things to worry about than their horribly dysfunctional relationship. If it eats up as much time as it did last season, that's going to suck beyond belief.

5. I want more of the Quantum Leap Cylon guy. And more of Xena Cylon, who needs to come back because I miss her special kind of crazy. And they should deathmatch.

6. I want to know what the hell is going on with Baltar. He was much more interesting as a social revolutionary. I do find the Baltar is Jesus thing kind of fun, but the class warfare thing they were going for seemed even more entertaining and I'm sad to see that it looks like they've dropped that. I'm kind of hoping they'll find a way to tie both of them together.

7. I want the last cylon to be someone unexpected, preferably someone we haven't met yet and definitely NOT Baltar (because it would completely destroy the point of his character) or Starbuck (because that's just way too predictable). My guess is that the last cylon isn't with the colonial fleet, or the cylon armada, but is on earth - showing everyone that the cylons are older than everyone thought they were and that humans and cylons come from the same origins.</lj>